Some (not so) humble poetry

Ironic self-aggrandisement is a peculiar form of humour. I use it all the time, but it may be quite irritating to tell everyone how wonderful you are, even if you do so in an ironic tone, because, just maybe, a little part of you believes what you say.

By rights the world should worship me
I saved it just the other day
but of course I’m too humble to admit it
 
I’m actually a very charming person
but I’m afraid my charm only works
on intelligent people
 
I have many good characteristics
a razor-sharp wit, for one
and I’m really good in the sack
 
when I rule the world
you can be in my harem
you should be honoured 
many other people will die
 
everyone should just do what I say
the world would be a better place
why not go into politics?
no, no, politics is for people
with superiority complexes
 
I’ll make you my queen
you could rule the world
with an iron hand
or the household at least
I’ll rule the world
 
god and I are buddies
he asks Me for advice sometimes
the rain of fire that destroyed the world
my idea, or was that the previous world?
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